Monday, November 9, 2015

How I Learned To Never Settle For Anything

   Since it is Monday, I thought I'd write something to celebrate Motivational Monday to get people through their week. In the past years I have learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of. Through that, I have learned that their are several things you should never settle for: men and your success above most things. How did I do this? How did I overcome having the worst self confidence? I am here to enlighten you on that journey.
   Growing up at my high school, I faced a lot of ups and downs. I was a good student, but you would never think of me as that way because there were lots of good students at my school. Instead of being above average, I was just average. I blended in a lot, you might say. Excluding my senior year, I took a lot of hard classes from the hardest teachers. Most of my classes were college level and were very challenging. It was not uncommon for me to receive a B in a challenging course because I was overwhelmed by the large amounts of homework piling up on me all at once. I was so used to this lifestyle of never being complimented and always being compared to my sister who didn't necessarily have the same teachers as me. Not to say she didn't take hard courses, because she did. She was and still is very smart, but we are two different people and should not have been compared in such a manner. I took five years of Latin. And the teacher I had challenged me everyday. I worked hard and sometimes I just wasn't good enough. He saw enough potential in my class to give us tests that were nearly impossible. I appreciate this now, but at the time I didn't appreciate my GPA not meeting up to my standards. I was screwed over a lot at my high school. It was an excellent school and I appreciate the teachers I had and what I've learned, but the politics in the school overcame the benefits of the students. Even going into my senior year I felt like I had nothing to offer for the future and that my success would be based on pure luck. As much as I loved science, I knew it would amount to nothing. I was very successful in science olympiad (Forensic State Champion twice!!) and still this wasn't enough for people to think I was smart enough. However, after I graduated my teacher gave me a speech. He told me that he was actually proud of me and that he knew I was going to do amazing things. He handed me a playing card that we used in our Latin classes to translate out loud and I knew after 5 years of having him as a teacher, I would be okay.
   Recently I have been thinking about transferring schools, because I no longer feel like settling for nothing. I look at that playing card and I know what I am capable of, as silly as it sounds. Sometimes you just have to stop listening to the people around you and take control of your own life. Sometimes it is scary. The future is always scary. Grey's Anatomy said it best "the carousel never stops turning." But I do believe we make our own destinies. Some people are born to greatness and other times we have to find our greatness. I believe that everyone has potential to be successful, it just takes time and effort. For me, I want to work for the CDC and I won't take no for answer to get where I need to be to obtain that goal. If you want to be the president of the United States, you can do that. If you're awful at math and science but want to find the cure for cancer, you do everything in your power to meet that goal. You deserve the best there is. Never settle. Never limit yourself, because the second you start doing that, is the second you will start regretting your past. You will make mistakes, but that will only make you stronger. You will fail many times before you can succeed. You will get there. I will get there. We can all get there together.
   Finally, I have learned to never settle for a man. In fact, no girl or woman should EVER settle for a man. You are absolutely beautiful and you should never date a man that makes you feel any different. Through all of my relationships the biggest thing I've learned is that all men are idiots. He could be the most perfect guy ever and he will still do stupid things. That's okay though. That just means when you do something stupid, he can't get angry. My current boyfriend treats me like an absolute princess and I am very grateful for that. However, he still says stuff and does things sometimes and I just think to myself "why would you think that is okay?" For some reason it seems like all men don't know how to speak properly to women. If you find a man who actually has this skill, please let me know. Still my boyfriend thinks I am the most beautiful creature on the planet to which I think "yeah I am. Glad you can see it too." I remember back in high school, I dated a guy who made me feel absolutely terrible. He had the audacity to flirt with other girls and get pictures from them as long as he didn't do anything with them. For some reason he thought this was okay. But no matter how I looked, I was still never good enough. Finally I drew the line. I knew I deserved and could do better. So we broke up and I took a year to just be by myself. I focused on myself and on my grades and didn't worry about the way I looked or how to please people. Through that process, I started to find beauty within myself. I decided that I was done settling for people. I wanted to find someone who thought I was the most beautiful person on the planet and wouldn't treat me like garbage. So, if you're settling for that guy you dated in high school who still acts like he's in high school, you're dating the wrong man. If you find yourself crying over your man multiple times a week, then he probably isn't worth your time. He should treat you like the queen you are and not make you feel like you need to change yourself for him. Never, I repeat NEVER, change yourself for anyone. My boyfriend told me one of the reasons he likes me so much is that I know what I want and I'm unique in the sense that I know who I am and have no intentions of changing for anyone. The fact that this is an uncommon trait among girls concerns me. Now most people do suffer from self-esteem issues and I will always have my insecurities. But I assure you, you're still beautiful and amazing. Don't let a man make you question your self worth. Don't let a man be the reason for your happiness either. Love yourself first. Then you can focus on someone else.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

10 Times the Walking Dead Ruined My Life

The Walking Dead is a show that everyone has heard of and hopefully watched at least once before. It is my favorite show by far. But the show has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have had my ups and downs with it whether it be a character dying or waiting a week or several months to provide some type of comfort over a cliff hanger. So, I've decided to document the top 10 times TWD ruined my life. This post might contain some spoilers so if you plan on watching the show or missed a few episodes, now may be the time to stop reading.

10: Carl having to shoot Lori after Judith's birth.
   Lori will forever remain as one of my least favorite characters on The Walking Dead, so to be honest I wasn't devastated to see her go. However, witnessing Carl shoot his own mother is another story. My heart broke for Carl and for Rick. What's worse than finding out your wife died giving birth to your best friend's baby? Pretty much nothing. Her death had a lot of awful consequences including Rick losing his title of leader. Yet her death did cause a lot of good stuff to happen. Carl became a man and Rick isn't afraid of losing anything anymore. Also, we don't have to deal with Lori whining about her personal problems which is a total plus.

9: T-Dawg's Death.
  T-Dawg was a very minor character. Yet, he did have a special place in my heart. He sacrificed himself to save Carol and for that I am grateful. After being with us for three seasons he succumbed to the prison's hoard of walkers and lost his life helping out Carol. Thank you, T-Dawg for allowing Carol to still be with us and grow after all this time.

8: Walker Sophia emerging from Hershel's barn.
   In season 2, we were all dealing with Sophia's disappearance. Daryl put more effort into finding Sophia, Carol's daughter, than anyone. However, Shane reveals to everyone that the walkers must come out of Hershel's barn and despite Hershel's rules, Shane lets them all loose. After what seems to be the saddest walker death scene ever (watching all of Hershel's friends and relatives dies) Sophie emerges from the barn as a young walker. After a whole season of trying to find Sophia, we realize that her fate has turned for the worst and that she is gone. Something about child walkers really bothers me and for that Sophia's death will always stick with me.

7: "Look at the flowers, Lizzie."
   Lizzie's death was something I saw coming the whole episode. What I didn't expect was for Lizzie to go psycho and kill her sister. Again, I hate seeing children succumb to these awful fates, but the show is all about killing off characters in the worst way possible. Carol, the motherly figure of the group, has to shoot Lizzie in a fashion similar to that of Of Mice and Men. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little bit. Lizzie just wanted to help the walkers, but instead she got to join them.

6: Any flashback ever.
   The Walking Dead is notorious for showing flashbacks of the character's lives before the outbreak and even flashbacks of people before they died (AKA Shane appearing in the smoke when Rick is having some type of delusional episode). Any flashback of a character is a quick way to ruin me. For example, seeing Abraham's troubled life between him and his family made me develop compassion towards him. I actually feel sorry for Abraham all the time now, and I blame knowing his backstory for that reason. Furthermore, these flashbacks make me become even more attached to the characters because I genuinely feel like I know them. After all, I get the luxury of seeing them at their worst moments. So if one of these characters dies, I feel like I have lost someone I personally know (Thank you TWD for always killing off my favorite characters!).

5: Andrea's death at Woodbury.
   Despite popular opinion, Andrea was one of my favorite characters. She made some bad decisions, but falling in love with the Governor might have been the worst. She tried fixing her mistakes, but despite her efforts the Governor ended her life. He tied her up, shot Milton and Milton bit her. The saddest part of it all is that Michonne is the one to kill poor, sick Andrea. My heart broke in a million pieces watching Michonne kill her best friend.

4: Carl shooting Shane.
   Kudos to Carl for always shooting Rick's closest friends and family. This seems to be a reoccurring theme for him. Although Shane went a little crazy towards the end of his life, Shane was always one of my favorites. He was a good leader. He may have done some bad things, but if it weren't for him, Carl and Lori probably wouldn't have made it past season one. Even though we all saw it coming, I was devastated when I saw Shane come back to life as a walker. But, I guess he had it coming. Carl saved Rick and that is what truly matters.

3: Hershel's unfortunate encounter with The Governor.
   Who didn't love Hershel? He was the sweetest and strongest old man of the apocalypse, I'm sure. Unfortunately his care, compassion, and fairness all led up to his demise. As soon as the Governor had Hershel and Michonne on their knees in front of the prison, I knew something bad was going to happen. A part of me was hoping that someone would come and save the day, but if there is anything I learned in TWD it is that you need to expect the worst. The Governor chopped Hershel's head off and my life ended for about 3 months.

2: Merle's final sacrifice.
   Merle might have been one the of the most dynamic characters on the show. He started off as a jerk who ended up working for the Governor only to leave for the benefit of his baby brother, Daryl. Now if you don't like the Dixon brothers then you really need to reevaluate yourself. My twin sister and I always talked about how Daryl and Merle were our favorite characters, which should come at no surprise that one of them ended up dying. Merle develops a plan to destroy Woodbury involving leading a hoard of walkers to Woodbury's walls and killing off the guards. It all works in his favor until the Governor catches on shoots Merle. And as if there wasn't another reason to hate the Governor, here's the catch: he doesn't shoot Merle in the head. So guess who finds Merle as a walker? That's right. Daryl. And guess who has to shoot Merle? Again, Daryl. That whole scene broke my heart. To see Daryl cry, made me want to cry. Nothing is worse than shooting the brother that took you three seasons to find again only to have him change for the better and turn into a walker. We all still miss you, Merle.

1: Glenn's dumpster mishap.
   Now, Glenn's death still hasn't been proven, but that doesn't make this whole event any less sad. As a collective group, every TWD fan did like Glenn. I am sure of it. What isn't to like about Glenn? He never did anything bad. He saved people, even the ones who didn't deserve it. Nicholas shot himself and took Glenn down with him and unfortunately we still haven't found out if Glenn is dead or not. In my mind he is alive, but based on previous experiences I foresee death in his future. The saddest part about everything is that my boyfriend and I had a conversation and hour before the episode aired about how Glenn was our favorite character. Also, Maggie has lost literally everyone she ever loved so to have Glenn gone would be a tragedy. Until, I see Glenn alive and Maggie running into his arms, my life will forever be over in the The Walking Dead world.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

My Break-Up Story

   So I know what a lot of you are thinking, "you're so young. what could you possibly know about relationships?" Well believe it or not, I may know a thing or two. A couple months ago, I dealt with a really bad break-up. The kind where both people really did not want it, but it needed to happen anyway. I never wanted to talk about it up until now, because I just was not quite ready to let people know how it really went. However, I think it is important to let people know that these things do happen and that it is okay to be upset by them.
   A little over two years ago I started dating a guy who is now my ex. Nobody saw it coming. We were so different on everything. At the time that was okay. We learned a lot about each other and we really enjoyed our time together. However, these differences really took a toll on us as a couple. In public we were happy and no one would suspect that we had issues, but we were never on the same page. He wanted one thing and I wanted something different. No matter how hard we tried, there was just no future there. Yet we were together for two years which is honestly a long time for someone my age. As time progressed we became two different people. Neither one of us were happy in our relationship and as much as it pained me,  we both had to say goodbye. When I look back on it, I think we stayed together as long as we did because we were so attached to each other. I think a lot of the time, couples stay together because it honestly is really hard to imagine starting over with someone new. So, the idea of being with someone is a lot better than losing them. A lot of my friends have gone through relationships with that idea in mind. It is human nature to form relationships and we need those relationships to survive. But you should never be afraid of being alone. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another person. RuPaul said it best when he asked "if you can't love yourself how do you expect anyone to love you?" There is a lot of truth in that question because you need to find out who you are and what you want and the rest will fall in place.
   So how did I move on after two years? I think this part of a break-up is different for everyone. I am an optimist and to me I looked at it as an opportunity. I was too young to cry over a boy who wanted nothing to do with me anymore so I took some time to be sad and two months later I was with another guy who makes me really happy. Grieving is okay. In fact, you should grieve. It is okay to be sad. When we broke up I had so many questions through my head. What was wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Could this have been prevented? Will I find someone new? It was a constant struggle with what I wanted mixed with so much uncertainty. But I found happiness and no matter how awful things seem now, that guy that you thought you loved will just be a learning experience. You have to go through a lot of toads before you find prince charming. But don't just assume that two months is a proper time before moving on. Everyone is different. It is okay to spend some time by yourself. After a long relationship, you can lose your sense of identity. I think it is important that you figure yourself out again before finding someone new. This might take two weeks or even two years. For me, I knew I was ready when I didn't care to be by myself anymore. I knew I was ready when I didn't have to question if I still had feelings for me ex anymore. I knew I was ready to move on when I could look in the mirror and love myself as much as I had been loved before. There is no right time to move on. You get to be the judge of that. No matter how many people tell you otherwise that you should get back on your feet and find someone new, only you can be the judge of when you're ready. Everyone copes differently, but everything will be okay.
   The moral of all of this is that you should never settle. Everyone deserves to be treated as if they are a princess. Not every girl gets the luxury of becoming a princess when they get older (my mom taught me this at a very young age) but you can still feel that way with the right person. There is a difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Don't be afraid of being alone. Chances are that if you're not happy with your relationship right now, you probably won't be happy down the road 10 years from now. It's a lot of trial and error. No, I still haven't found Mr. Right. But I'm young. I have plenty of time. However, I do know what I don't want in my relationships. I do have an idea of Mr. Right in my head. But now I'm wiser and stronger and I know what I deserve. Every woman is beautiful. If your man can't make you feel beautiful or loved or important, then he probably isn't your Mr. Right. He's Mr. Right Now. But when you do find the one, you'll realize why it never worked out in the first place. When you find that person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel like the princess you are, keep them. That is who you deserve.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Day I Became the Mom of My Friend Group

   We all have that one friend that we consider to be the "mom" of our friend group. She is the one that takes care of everyone in your friend group. She is the responsible one. She is the one who lectures you for eating that cookie before dinner or being out too late instead of studying for your exam. She is the friend that you rely on to keep you on the right track and help you out when you need it. If you cannot think of a friend like that, chance are that that friend is you.
   Throughout high school I had one friend that was definitely the mom of our friend group. I was one of those teenagers that did not think before I acted. Typical am I right? She was always there to pick me up when I was down and was there to correct my mistakes and prevent me from making the same mistakes over and over again. The funny thing is that my friends and I always joked about how she was the mom of our group and none of us wanted to be that way. However, somehow I have evolved into the mom of my friend group now. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I am the new mom among my group of friends.
   It all started yesterday. I was dropping off one of my friends after a few hours of playing board games. As soon as he left my car and I drove off I got nervous because I never actually saw him walk into his dorm. I started panicking because what if he had gotten kidnapped and I didn't know about it (this was seriously in broad daylight too)? So I texted him and called him to just make sure and of course he was fine. Then it hit me. That was a total mom move.
   Now I think back on all of the mom-ish tendencies I have. For example, while most college students go out and go to parties, I stay in and read books and knit the occasional scarf that I still have not finished. Furthermore, I always find myself cleaning the apartment as a distraction from school. In high school, my nickname was "Mama Henderson." I got this nickname from being prepared for every scenario during Latin Convention. I was always there to help out the other Latin kids. Whether someone forgot to pack an extra shirt or someone got a paper cut, I was the first one there to their aid. I just want to take care of people. I am the friend that will lecture you if you come home too late and have not done your homework yet. I am the girl that gets anxious if my friends don't text me as soon as they get home. I am also the girl that cleans up during parties. We had a group of friends come over during the summer. Everyone was playing games and having a good time and I was following everyone around making sure they did not set a drink down without a coaster or lay their trash somewhere other than in the garbage can. That is just the type of person that I have become.
   I know the whole mom-of-the-friend-group concept has a negative connotation to most people, but it is not all that bad. If someone tells you that you're acting like a mom, take it as a compliment. I look at my mom and think of how wonderful of a person she is. She is so strong, hardworking, and the coolest woman I know. If someone is calling me a mom, then they are basically comparing me to her and to me that is a total compliment. If I can be anywhere near as cool as my mom, then I have fulfilled my life goal. Furthermore, if you're the mom of your friend group, you have authority over all of your friends. They look to you for guidance so you're their new leader. They will listen to what you have to say. You're the responsible one remember?

Sunday, September 6, 2015

5 Reasons Why Rooming With Your Best Friend Isn't A Bad Idea

  We have all heard it before: "Never room with your best friend in college, because it'll ruin your friendship forever." Yet, I am rooming with my best friend and we still love each other. We still consider each other sisters. Now, I will agree that rooming with a friend is not for everyone. Everyone's friendship is different, but do not be afraid to room with your best friend. Here is why:

1. It's a sleepover 24/7.
    Remember when your mom said you couldn't have friends over on a school night? Well those days are gone, because you get to spend the night with your friend every single night. My best friend and I constantly watch movies and even do each other's nails and gossip (yes, this actually happens!) just like how we did in high school.

2. You always have someone to hang out with.
    Starting college means meeting new people which can be scary to some. Rooming with your best friend can take away the anxiety of it all. You already have someone you know, so it is easier to go places and meet people. You'll always be comfortable in a room with your best friend. Let's be honest. Plus you always have a study buddy.

3. Late night Taco Bell runs.
  Okay, so I know I am not the only one who does this. Sometimes if you're up studying late, you forget to eat dinner. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Yet, not everyone is down for a Taco Bell run at 1 A.M. You know your best friend will always be there for you though. My roommate and I make Taco Bell runs together during those late night study sessions even if one of us is already in bed. That is what best friends do.

4. They know everything about you.
   They know you like your poptarts toasted in the morning or that waking up is the absolute worst. They know that you don't like that one person in your class and know you'll rant about that person for 20 minutes. Plus, they know all of your secrets. Your best friend has seen you at the best and worst times of your life. They know all of your quirks and can put up with them already.

5. They love you know matter what.
    Whether it is the way you leave crumbs all over the floor (I am so guilty!) or how you forget to take your laundry out of the dryer, there are things that will annoy your roommate. But at the end of the day, your best friend is willing to put all of that aside and just enjoy spending time with you. Your best friend will never see you as the annoying roommate because they have seen you through it all. They love you no matter what you do. Friendship conquers all!

Welcome!

  Welcome to my new blog. You may know me from my movie reviews. On this blog specifically, I will discuss a variety of topics. I want people to really get to know me through my writing and I would love to make a difference through my writing as well. I hope you all enjoy!