As a woman, all of us want to believe that our man is the most perfect guy out there. Or at least, I feel that way. Everything my boyfriend does, I never take for granted; however, after listening to women my age talk about their boyfriends, I have come to realize how lucky I really got. I've listened to my friends complain over and over about their boyfriends/ boys they're "talking" to, and I have got to say that my life is a heck of a lot easier with my boyfriend. So, ladies, if your man isn't taking the time out of his day to make you feel special or even doing any of the things listed below, maybe you should re-think some things.
1. Tells me I'm beautiful every day.
To most, this might seem a tad excessive. But coming from someone who has suffered from self-image issues basically their entire life, this turns my day completely around. I could think I am the ugliest human being on this earth, but my boyfriend still tells me I'm beautiful. And it's not that I need to be told that every day. I'm not like Tinker Bell and will die if I don't get enough attention. But having my boyfriend call me every day with a "hey, beautiful" is enough to make me smile.
2. Doesn't blow off my feelings.
For some reason, people in my generation have issues communicating with one another. A lot of my friends have boyfriends that don't really like to talk over their problems. A lot of the time it's a "I think you're overreacting." My boyfriend will let me rant to him for hours about something he did and he'll try and see it from my point of view. We rarely have fights. In the almost two years of dating, we've only had one big argument and we resolved it fairly quickly. But that did involve communication. Not once in that argument did he ever say "you're overreacting." If you're boyfriend makes you feel like you should apologize for your feelings, something is wrong. If you're boyfriend makes you feel like you can't tell him he did something wrong the moment it happens, something is wrong. My boyfriend and I have a rule that if one of us does something that bothers the other, we tell them right then and there. It doesn't matter how silly it is, because keeping it bottled up causes more harm than good. I tend to overreact a lot too. There was one time we were driving and nobody would let me over into the other lane; so, we missed our exit. Not going to lie, I cried and even got a bit fussy with my boyfriend because he didn't tell me to turn into the exit right away. But my boyfriend held my hand and said "Emily, it's okay. We'll find a place to turn around. Just breathe." And he directed me to the next exit. He didn't tell me I overreacted even though it's obvious I did.
3. Loves me even when I'm bloated, crampy, and gross.
This is pretty much a deal breaker for me. I had an ex in the past who refused to associate with me at all when it was my time of the month because he said it was gross and a hassle on him. Sorry the natural processes of my body grossed you out? Or moreover, sorry that me being in so much pain that I pass out and throw up is a hassle on you. I just chose to be a woman one day, just to be a hassle on men. You're right. But my current boyfriend always buys me ice cream, cuddles with me, tells me he loves me when I'm crying over nothing, and will feed my whatever weird cravings I have. We went to the gym once because I read somewhere that it would help my cramps (FYI it didn't), and he left early because I was doubled over in pain. Now those who know him know that he NEVER leaves the gym early for anything. But he'll always leave the gym early for me. He wasn't mad. He was understanding and he told me we could go eat anywhere I wanted and we could watch whatever movie I wanted. In the end, he bought me Moe's and ice cream, so he made my day just a little bit nicer.
4. Is ALWAYS loyal.
I am aware that this a no-brainer. However, for some reason people my age don't really grasp this concept. For me, cheating is anything you do behind your significant other's back that would hurt the other person. For example, I had an ex that would get nude pictures from other girls but that "wasn't cheating because he didn't use them." You can decode that for yourself. But it involves other things too. Flirting with other girls or straight up checking out other girls in front of you hurts. Now just like all men, I'm sure my boyfriend checks out other girls. However, he makes sure to acknowledge that I look better than anyone which is a huge plus. Also he doesn't text any other girls without telling me. Now you might be thinking that I can't possibly know that. Furthermore, he could by hiding things behind my back. But I would trust him with my life. He hasn't done anything to betray my trust. We had an issue in the past but after seeing my point of view he never spoke to this girl again. In fact, he deleted her number because he never wanted me to feel like there was someone else in the picture. We tell each other EVERYTHING. He also never compares me to anyone. We asked each other, if you could date a celebrity for a day, who would you date? Without hesitation, I said "Zac Efron" (obviously!). But he told me, that he didn't need to date a celebrity because he had me. Although his response made me feel terrible after mindlessly shouting "Zac Efron", it made me realize how much he must care about me.
5. Makes time for his friends and me.
Sometimes it is hard for us to balance time. I know couples who lose their friends because they only spend time with each other. The last thing you want is to be friendless because you and your boyfriend can't be separate people. Furthermore, guys reach a whole new level of clingy without their friends. One of my exes gave me zero space because I told him that I was tired of not being a priority in his life. I guess to him that meant "let me spend every waking moment with my girlfriend." I couldn't even breathe without telling him about it. Please, never put yourself in a position like that. My boyfriend is okay with me hanging out with my friends and family without him and the feeling is mutual. If he has friends over, I'm not going to interfere. It's harder to make plans the older you get, so he rarely sees his old friends. When they do come into town, I make sure that he gets enough guy time with them. Now, he does invite me to everything because he wants me to feel included; but, he is always happy when I decline too. We're around each other a lot, so he needs some guy time. It is a problem though when your boyfriend won't let you see your friends/family. If your man is keeping you away from your friends/family or preventing you from doing things you want to do, that is actually a sign of psychological abuse. Furthermore, it is just not fair. You should never let your man control you. It's your life, not his life. You have to find a proper balance between doing your thing and doing things together.
6. Loves to hear about my goals and passions.
I cannot tell you how many people tell me "nobody cares" when I talk about science. Science has been a passion of mine since I was very little. Naturally, I talk about it a lot. My boyfriend never tries to interrupt me when I'm talking about my passions or goals. Instead he is very supportive. I talk about outbreaks, diseases, and parasites a lot. Most of the time he'll tell me he doesn't understand but he still allows me to explain it. He always listens. In fact, he got a question right on his anatomy test because of something I told him. When he plans his life, he plans it in a way that we can both pursue our goals. For example, he knows that I am happiest in a lab; so, he was looking for places to live that would have a nice research facility and a place for him to open up his own gym. Furthermore, he asks me about school sometimes. He'll ask me about things I've learned and even my advice on his workout supplements. Here's a tip for all guys out there: complement a girl on her brains and not just her body!
7. Is constantly seeking new adventures with me.
As you get older, you realize how difficult it is to plan vacations. Money and work both play a significant role in the matter. But you can do new things without spending a lot of money. Working retail, my hours are sporadic and I never get weekends off. However, when I do get a day off, my boyfriend tries to find new things we can do. Granted a lot of the time we just sit at home, eat pizza, and watch Netflix. However, when we both magically get a day off, we don't take it for granted. We like to try new things together whether it be a new craft or going somewhere new. The world is a big place and we want to experience it together. When we plan vacations, it's not so much what have we done that was fun. Planning a vacation is more of "what haven't we done together that would be fun." Free time is a rarity for most people, so we shouldn't take it for granted. Experiencing something new with the person you love just makes things so much more exciting.
8. Never skimps out on date night.
Many couples stop going on real dates over time. Even my boyfriend and I don't have a set date night every week. It seems that most couples stop chasing after each other after so long. This is a depressing fact. Me and my boyfriend will plan date nights if I'm not working that weekend. I'll get all dolled up, he'll pick me out, and we'll go do something fun. Fact: having fun does not require absurd amounts of money. One of our date nights consisted of buying a lot of snacks and a movie from the $3 bin at Walmart. This may not seem like a date, but you can have date nights in. Sometimes we'll go out to eat and see a movie. Sometimes we go bowling. We love going to Gatti-Land and playing games. The important thing is that we make each date count. He is a real gentleman too. I am a firm believer that relationships are about balance. He shouldn't always have to pay for our meals/dates. But he always does despite my wishes. He'll open the door for me and always let me order first.
9. Goes out of his way to make me feel special.
Again, this might seem obvious. However, I can't tell you how many of my friends rarely get spoiled by their boyfriends. By spoiled I don't mean just by material things. Your boyfriend should do nice things for you on more than just your birthday, Christmas, and anniversary. Each day, he should be striving to make you feel loved. When I'm having a bad day, my boyfriend will do everything to make it better. Whether that be cuddling me, watching my favorite movie, going for a walk in the park, or giving me my space, he will do it. With him, I feel special 365 days out of the year. He is constantly doing things to make my life easier or going out of his way to make me feel great. Everyone has those days where they just feel down, but my boyfriend can make me smile even on my worst of days. He'll listen to my rants and try to be understanding. He never gives me unsolicited advice either. Sometimes you just want to rant about something without someone telling you what to do. He's always there when I need him.
10. Strives for us to move forward as a couple.
Let me stress that I have no intentions of getting married until I'm about 28 years old. I have a while before I can even consider it. However, if you're dating someone, you should see them as a candidate. Many couples love the idea of each other more than actually being together. I like to think of these couples as stationary. They're not really taking steps forward because they don't really want to move forward with that person. It's silly to be with someone if you don't see a future with them. My boyfriend and I are constantly moving forward as a couple. Granted, it is baby steps, but we're moving forward. We make plans with each other that are in the future such as living together someday. We plan our own personal futures with each other in them like where we'll live in 10 years or how many dogs we'll have. We want to do new things with each other and experience the world together. But the point is that we're constantly on the same page about the future. We don't take our relationship on a day-by-day basis. We're constantly seeking ways to improve ourselves when we have differences and seeking new things for us to experience together.