So I know what a lot of you are thinking, "you're so young. what could you possibly know about relationships?" Well believe it or not, I may know a thing or two. A couple months ago, I dealt with a really bad break-up. The kind where both people really did not want it, but it needed to happen anyway. I never wanted to talk about it up until now, because I just was not quite ready to let people know how it really went. However, I think it is important to let people know that these things do happen and that it is okay to be upset by them.
A little over two years ago I started dating a guy who is now my ex. Nobody saw it coming. We were so different on everything. At the time that was okay. We learned a lot about each other and we really enjoyed our time together. However, these differences really took a toll on us as a couple. In public we were happy and no one would suspect that we had issues, but we were never on the same page. He wanted one thing and I wanted something different. No matter how hard we tried, there was just no future there. Yet we were together for two years which is honestly a long time for someone my age. As time progressed we became two different people. Neither one of us were happy in our relationship and as much as it pained me, we both had to say goodbye. When I look back on it, I think we stayed together as long as we did because we were so attached to each other. I think a lot of the time, couples stay together because it honestly is really hard to imagine starting over with someone new. So, the idea of being with someone is a lot better than losing them. A lot of my friends have gone through relationships with that idea in mind. It is human nature to form relationships and we need those relationships to survive. But you should never be afraid of being alone. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another person. RuPaul said it best when he asked "if you can't love yourself how do you expect anyone to love you?" There is a lot of truth in that question because you need to find out who you are and what you want and the rest will fall in place.
So how did I move on after two years? I think this part of a break-up is different for everyone. I am an optimist and to me I looked at it as an opportunity. I was too young to cry over a boy who wanted nothing to do with me anymore so I took some time to be sad and two months later I was with another guy who makes me really happy. Grieving is okay. In fact, you should grieve. It is okay to be sad. When we broke up I had so many questions through my head. What was wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Could this have been prevented? Will I find someone new? It was a constant struggle with what I wanted mixed with so much uncertainty. But I found happiness and no matter how awful things seem now, that guy that you thought you loved will just be a learning experience. You have to go through a lot of toads before you find prince charming. But don't just assume that two months is a proper time before moving on. Everyone is different. It is okay to spend some time by yourself. After a long relationship, you can lose your sense of identity. I think it is important that you figure yourself out again before finding someone new. This might take two weeks or even two years. For me, I knew I was ready when I didn't care to be by myself anymore. I knew I was ready when I didn't have to question if I still had feelings for me ex anymore. I knew I was ready to move on when I could look in the mirror and love myself as much as I had been loved before. There is no right time to move on. You get to be the judge of that. No matter how many people tell you otherwise that you should get back on your feet and find someone new, only you can be the judge of when you're ready. Everyone copes differently, but everything will be okay.
The moral of all of this is that you should never settle. Everyone deserves to be treated as if they are a princess. Not every girl gets the luxury of becoming a princess when they get older (my mom taught me this at a very young age) but you can still feel that way with the right person. There is a difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Don't be afraid of being alone. Chances are that if you're not happy with your relationship right now, you probably won't be happy down the road 10 years from now. It's a lot of trial and error. No, I still haven't found Mr. Right. But I'm young. I have plenty of time. However, I do know what I don't want in my relationships. I do have an idea of Mr. Right in my head. But now I'm wiser and stronger and I know what I deserve. Every woman is beautiful. If your man can't make you feel beautiful or loved or important, then he probably isn't your Mr. Right. He's Mr. Right Now. But when you do find the one, you'll realize why it never worked out in the first place. When you find that person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel like the princess you are, keep them. That is who you deserve.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
The Day I Became the Mom of My Friend Group
We all have that one friend that we consider to be the "mom" of our friend group. She is the one that takes care of everyone in your friend group. She is the responsible one. She is the one who lectures you for eating that cookie before dinner or being out too late instead of studying for your exam. She is the friend that you rely on to keep you on the right track and help you out when you need it. If you cannot think of a friend like that, chance are that that friend is you.
Throughout high school I had one friend that was definitely the mom of our friend group. I was one of those teenagers that did not think before I acted. Typical am I right? She was always there to pick me up when I was down and was there to correct my mistakes and prevent me from making the same mistakes over and over again. The funny thing is that my friends and I always joked about how she was the mom of our group and none of us wanted to be that way. However, somehow I have evolved into the mom of my friend group now. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I am the new mom among my group of friends.
It all started yesterday. I was dropping off one of my friends after a few hours of playing board games. As soon as he left my car and I drove off I got nervous because I never actually saw him walk into his dorm. I started panicking because what if he had gotten kidnapped and I didn't know about it (this was seriously in broad daylight too)? So I texted him and called him to just make sure and of course he was fine. Then it hit me. That was a total mom move.
Now I think back on all of the mom-ish tendencies I have. For example, while most college students go out and go to parties, I stay in and read books and knit the occasional scarf that I still have not finished. Furthermore, I always find myself cleaning the apartment as a distraction from school. In high school, my nickname was "Mama Henderson." I got this nickname from being prepared for every scenario during Latin Convention. I was always there to help out the other Latin kids. Whether someone forgot to pack an extra shirt or someone got a paper cut, I was the first one there to their aid. I just want to take care of people. I am the friend that will lecture you if you come home too late and have not done your homework yet. I am the girl that gets anxious if my friends don't text me as soon as they get home. I am also the girl that cleans up during parties. We had a group of friends come over during the summer. Everyone was playing games and having a good time and I was following everyone around making sure they did not set a drink down without a coaster or lay their trash somewhere other than in the garbage can. That is just the type of person that I have become.
I know the whole mom-of-the-friend-group concept has a negative connotation to most people, but it is not all that bad. If someone tells you that you're acting like a mom, take it as a compliment. I look at my mom and think of how wonderful of a person she is. She is so strong, hardworking, and the coolest woman I know. If someone is calling me a mom, then they are basically comparing me to her and to me that is a total compliment. If I can be anywhere near as cool as my mom, then I have fulfilled my life goal. Furthermore, if you're the mom of your friend group, you have authority over all of your friends. They look to you for guidance so you're their new leader. They will listen to what you have to say. You're the responsible one remember?
Throughout high school I had one friend that was definitely the mom of our friend group. I was one of those teenagers that did not think before I acted. Typical am I right? She was always there to pick me up when I was down and was there to correct my mistakes and prevent me from making the same mistakes over and over again. The funny thing is that my friends and I always joked about how she was the mom of our group and none of us wanted to be that way. However, somehow I have evolved into the mom of my friend group now. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I am the new mom among my group of friends.
It all started yesterday. I was dropping off one of my friends after a few hours of playing board games. As soon as he left my car and I drove off I got nervous because I never actually saw him walk into his dorm. I started panicking because what if he had gotten kidnapped and I didn't know about it (this was seriously in broad daylight too)? So I texted him and called him to just make sure and of course he was fine. Then it hit me. That was a total mom move.
Now I think back on all of the mom-ish tendencies I have. For example, while most college students go out and go to parties, I stay in and read books and knit the occasional scarf that I still have not finished. Furthermore, I always find myself cleaning the apartment as a distraction from school. In high school, my nickname was "Mama Henderson." I got this nickname from being prepared for every scenario during Latin Convention. I was always there to help out the other Latin kids. Whether someone forgot to pack an extra shirt or someone got a paper cut, I was the first one there to their aid. I just want to take care of people. I am the friend that will lecture you if you come home too late and have not done your homework yet. I am the girl that gets anxious if my friends don't text me as soon as they get home. I am also the girl that cleans up during parties. We had a group of friends come over during the summer. Everyone was playing games and having a good time and I was following everyone around making sure they did not set a drink down without a coaster or lay their trash somewhere other than in the garbage can. That is just the type of person that I have become.
I know the whole mom-of-the-friend-group concept has a negative connotation to most people, but it is not all that bad. If someone tells you that you're acting like a mom, take it as a compliment. I look at my mom and think of how wonderful of a person she is. She is so strong, hardworking, and the coolest woman I know. If someone is calling me a mom, then they are basically comparing me to her and to me that is a total compliment. If I can be anywhere near as cool as my mom, then I have fulfilled my life goal. Furthermore, if you're the mom of your friend group, you have authority over all of your friends. They look to you for guidance so you're their new leader. They will listen to what you have to say. You're the responsible one remember?
Sunday, September 6, 2015
5 Reasons Why Rooming With Your Best Friend Isn't A Bad Idea
We have all heard it before: "Never room with your best friend in college, because it'll ruin your friendship forever." Yet, I am rooming with my best friend and we still love each other. We still consider each other sisters. Now, I will agree that rooming with a friend is not for everyone. Everyone's friendship is different, but do not be afraid to room with your best friend. Here is why:
1. It's a sleepover 24/7.
Remember when your mom said you couldn't have friends over on a school night? Well those days are gone, because you get to spend the night with your friend every single night. My best friend and I constantly watch movies and even do each other's nails and gossip (yes, this actually happens!) just like how we did in high school.
2. You always have someone to hang out with.
Starting college means meeting new people which can be scary to some. Rooming with your best friend can take away the anxiety of it all. You already have someone you know, so it is easier to go places and meet people. You'll always be comfortable in a room with your best friend. Let's be honest. Plus you always have a study buddy.
3. Late night Taco Bell runs.
Okay, so I know I am not the only one who does this. Sometimes if you're up studying late, you forget to eat dinner. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Yet, not everyone is down for a Taco Bell run at 1 A.M. You know your best friend will always be there for you though. My roommate and I make Taco Bell runs together during those late night study sessions even if one of us is already in bed. That is what best friends do.
4. They know everything about you.
They know you like your poptarts toasted in the morning or that waking up is the absolute worst. They know that you don't like that one person in your class and know you'll rant about that person for 20 minutes. Plus, they know all of your secrets. Your best friend has seen you at the best and worst times of your life. They know all of your quirks and can put up with them already.
5. They love you know matter what.
Whether it is the way you leave crumbs all over the floor (I am so guilty!) or how you forget to take your laundry out of the dryer, there are things that will annoy your roommate. But at the end of the day, your best friend is willing to put all of that aside and just enjoy spending time with you. Your best friend will never see you as the annoying roommate because they have seen you through it all. They love you no matter what you do. Friendship conquers all!
1. It's a sleepover 24/7.
Remember when your mom said you couldn't have friends over on a school night? Well those days are gone, because you get to spend the night with your friend every single night. My best friend and I constantly watch movies and even do each other's nails and gossip (yes, this actually happens!) just like how we did in high school.
2. You always have someone to hang out with.
Starting college means meeting new people which can be scary to some. Rooming with your best friend can take away the anxiety of it all. You already have someone you know, so it is easier to go places and meet people. You'll always be comfortable in a room with your best friend. Let's be honest. Plus you always have a study buddy.
3. Late night Taco Bell runs.
Okay, so I know I am not the only one who does this. Sometimes if you're up studying late, you forget to eat dinner. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Yet, not everyone is down for a Taco Bell run at 1 A.M. You know your best friend will always be there for you though. My roommate and I make Taco Bell runs together during those late night study sessions even if one of us is already in bed. That is what best friends do.
4. They know everything about you.
They know you like your poptarts toasted in the morning or that waking up is the absolute worst. They know that you don't like that one person in your class and know you'll rant about that person for 20 minutes. Plus, they know all of your secrets. Your best friend has seen you at the best and worst times of your life. They know all of your quirks and can put up with them already.
5. They love you know matter what.
Whether it is the way you leave crumbs all over the floor (I am so guilty!) or how you forget to take your laundry out of the dryer, there are things that will annoy your roommate. But at the end of the day, your best friend is willing to put all of that aside and just enjoy spending time with you. Your best friend will never see you as the annoying roommate because they have seen you through it all. They love you no matter what you do. Friendship conquers all!
Welcome!
Welcome to my new blog. You may know me from my movie reviews. On this blog specifically, I will discuss a variety of topics. I want people to really get to know me through my writing and I would love to make a difference through my writing as well. I hope you all enjoy!
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