A bibliophile is someone how loves or collects books. I pride myself on my love of books. However, I am a bit displeased to find out that not everyone loves books the way I do. Last weekend, I was telling my boyfriend about the book I had just finished. Although he never actually understands the things I tell him, he always listens to my rants and facts about books and characters. I really appreciate this about him. However, I told him to read The Harry Potter series (who doesn't love that series?). That is where things really went downhill. He had the audacity to look me in the face and say "But I've seen all of the movies." I was just appalled that he would even think such an absurd thing. I know he's not the only person out there who feels this way. I have several friends who feel the exact same way about books. Why read the book when you can just watch the movie? I like to imagine that books are like a house. You have the foundation which is sort of like the plot. It holds the whole story together. Then you have the necessities like a door and some windows. Maybe a chimney thrown in there too. Those are the characters. I like to think of the roof as a conclusion that finishes the whole house. However, you wouldn't just live in a pile of wood or a pile of bricks would you? That is basically what a movie is. The movie compared to the book is just an unfinished house. You can't really establish a story in an hour without taking things out. I want everyone to reestablish their love for reading.
I know a lot of you are thinking "I just don't have the time." Well you have to make time. You don't need to go out and buy a 900 page book to love reading. There are so many books out there. If time is truly an issue you can always buy audio books and listen to them in the car. There are no excuses. Also, "I hate reading" is definitely not an excuse. The only people who hate reading are those who have never done it properly. Our school systems do a severe injustice to us especially in high school. In high school I had to read so many books I really just didn't like. Being forced to read really takes the enjoyment out of it especially if it's a book you have no interest in. Don't base the books you read in school on all of the books out there. There are billions and billions of books in the world. You just need to find that one. Your book soulmate. You'll know when you find it because it will make you fall in love with reading. It will be the book that you go back to every time. I'm lucky. I fell in love with books at a very young age. I don't have just one book soulmate. I have entire series. I love the Harry Potter series. Those are the books I go back to when I've finished all the books I need to read. I keep going back to those books because they make me feel like I'm falling in love with reading all over again. Not everyone is like that though. Finding your book takes a lot of trial and error. I've read so many books in my lifetime. I'd be lying if I said that I loved every book I ever read. Some books will disappoint you. Some books will make you cry. Some books will take you on a journey. Books are so powerful. Think about it: tiny words on paper have the power to educate and inspire. How amazing is that? There is a book for everything. There is a book for everyone. I promise. I encourage everyone to go out tomorrow or the next day and just read. Just take 30 minutes out of your day to read a book. You will not regret it.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, April 4, 2016
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
My Break-Up Story
So I know what a lot of you are thinking, "you're so young. what could you possibly know about relationships?" Well believe it or not, I may know a thing or two. A couple months ago, I dealt with a really bad break-up. The kind where both people really did not want it, but it needed to happen anyway. I never wanted to talk about it up until now, because I just was not quite ready to let people know how it really went. However, I think it is important to let people know that these things do happen and that it is okay to be upset by them.
A little over two years ago I started dating a guy who is now my ex. Nobody saw it coming. We were so different on everything. At the time that was okay. We learned a lot about each other and we really enjoyed our time together. However, these differences really took a toll on us as a couple. In public we were happy and no one would suspect that we had issues, but we were never on the same page. He wanted one thing and I wanted something different. No matter how hard we tried, there was just no future there. Yet we were together for two years which is honestly a long time for someone my age. As time progressed we became two different people. Neither one of us were happy in our relationship and as much as it pained me, we both had to say goodbye. When I look back on it, I think we stayed together as long as we did because we were so attached to each other. I think a lot of the time, couples stay together because it honestly is really hard to imagine starting over with someone new. So, the idea of being with someone is a lot better than losing them. A lot of my friends have gone through relationships with that idea in mind. It is human nature to form relationships and we need those relationships to survive. But you should never be afraid of being alone. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another person. RuPaul said it best when he asked "if you can't love yourself how do you expect anyone to love you?" There is a lot of truth in that question because you need to find out who you are and what you want and the rest will fall in place.
So how did I move on after two years? I think this part of a break-up is different for everyone. I am an optimist and to me I looked at it as an opportunity. I was too young to cry over a boy who wanted nothing to do with me anymore so I took some time to be sad and two months later I was with another guy who makes me really happy. Grieving is okay. In fact, you should grieve. It is okay to be sad. When we broke up I had so many questions through my head. What was wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Could this have been prevented? Will I find someone new? It was a constant struggle with what I wanted mixed with so much uncertainty. But I found happiness and no matter how awful things seem now, that guy that you thought you loved will just be a learning experience. You have to go through a lot of toads before you find prince charming. But don't just assume that two months is a proper time before moving on. Everyone is different. It is okay to spend some time by yourself. After a long relationship, you can lose your sense of identity. I think it is important that you figure yourself out again before finding someone new. This might take two weeks or even two years. For me, I knew I was ready when I didn't care to be by myself anymore. I knew I was ready when I didn't have to question if I still had feelings for me ex anymore. I knew I was ready to move on when I could look in the mirror and love myself as much as I had been loved before. There is no right time to move on. You get to be the judge of that. No matter how many people tell you otherwise that you should get back on your feet and find someone new, only you can be the judge of when you're ready. Everyone copes differently, but everything will be okay.
The moral of all of this is that you should never settle. Everyone deserves to be treated as if they are a princess. Not every girl gets the luxury of becoming a princess when they get older (my mom taught me this at a very young age) but you can still feel that way with the right person. There is a difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Don't be afraid of being alone. Chances are that if you're not happy with your relationship right now, you probably won't be happy down the road 10 years from now. It's a lot of trial and error. No, I still haven't found Mr. Right. But I'm young. I have plenty of time. However, I do know what I don't want in my relationships. I do have an idea of Mr. Right in my head. But now I'm wiser and stronger and I know what I deserve. Every woman is beautiful. If your man can't make you feel beautiful or loved or important, then he probably isn't your Mr. Right. He's Mr. Right Now. But when you do find the one, you'll realize why it never worked out in the first place. When you find that person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel like the princess you are, keep them. That is who you deserve.
A little over two years ago I started dating a guy who is now my ex. Nobody saw it coming. We were so different on everything. At the time that was okay. We learned a lot about each other and we really enjoyed our time together. However, these differences really took a toll on us as a couple. In public we were happy and no one would suspect that we had issues, but we were never on the same page. He wanted one thing and I wanted something different. No matter how hard we tried, there was just no future there. Yet we were together for two years which is honestly a long time for someone my age. As time progressed we became two different people. Neither one of us were happy in our relationship and as much as it pained me, we both had to say goodbye. When I look back on it, I think we stayed together as long as we did because we were so attached to each other. I think a lot of the time, couples stay together because it honestly is really hard to imagine starting over with someone new. So, the idea of being with someone is a lot better than losing them. A lot of my friends have gone through relationships with that idea in mind. It is human nature to form relationships and we need those relationships to survive. But you should never be afraid of being alone. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another person. RuPaul said it best when he asked "if you can't love yourself how do you expect anyone to love you?" There is a lot of truth in that question because you need to find out who you are and what you want and the rest will fall in place.
So how did I move on after two years? I think this part of a break-up is different for everyone. I am an optimist and to me I looked at it as an opportunity. I was too young to cry over a boy who wanted nothing to do with me anymore so I took some time to be sad and two months later I was with another guy who makes me really happy. Grieving is okay. In fact, you should grieve. It is okay to be sad. When we broke up I had so many questions through my head. What was wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Could this have been prevented? Will I find someone new? It was a constant struggle with what I wanted mixed with so much uncertainty. But I found happiness and no matter how awful things seem now, that guy that you thought you loved will just be a learning experience. You have to go through a lot of toads before you find prince charming. But don't just assume that two months is a proper time before moving on. Everyone is different. It is okay to spend some time by yourself. After a long relationship, you can lose your sense of identity. I think it is important that you figure yourself out again before finding someone new. This might take two weeks or even two years. For me, I knew I was ready when I didn't care to be by myself anymore. I knew I was ready when I didn't have to question if I still had feelings for me ex anymore. I knew I was ready to move on when I could look in the mirror and love myself as much as I had been loved before. There is no right time to move on. You get to be the judge of that. No matter how many people tell you otherwise that you should get back on your feet and find someone new, only you can be the judge of when you're ready. Everyone copes differently, but everything will be okay.
The moral of all of this is that you should never settle. Everyone deserves to be treated as if they are a princess. Not every girl gets the luxury of becoming a princess when they get older (my mom taught me this at a very young age) but you can still feel that way with the right person. There is a difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Don't be afraid of being alone. Chances are that if you're not happy with your relationship right now, you probably won't be happy down the road 10 years from now. It's a lot of trial and error. No, I still haven't found Mr. Right. But I'm young. I have plenty of time. However, I do know what I don't want in my relationships. I do have an idea of Mr. Right in my head. But now I'm wiser and stronger and I know what I deserve. Every woman is beautiful. If your man can't make you feel beautiful or loved or important, then he probably isn't your Mr. Right. He's Mr. Right Now. But when you do find the one, you'll realize why it never worked out in the first place. When you find that person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel like the princess you are, keep them. That is who you deserve.
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