Since it is Monday, I thought I'd write something to celebrate Motivational Monday to get people through their week. In the past years I have learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of. Through that, I have learned that their are several things you should never settle for: men and your success above most things. How did I do this? How did I overcome having the worst self confidence? I am here to enlighten you on that journey.
Growing up at my high school, I faced a lot of ups and downs. I was a good student, but you would never think of me as that way because there were lots of good students at my school. Instead of being above average, I was just average. I blended in a lot, you might say. Excluding my senior year, I took a lot of hard classes from the hardest teachers. Most of my classes were college level and were very challenging. It was not uncommon for me to receive a B in a challenging course because I was overwhelmed by the large amounts of homework piling up on me all at once. I was so used to this lifestyle of never being complimented and always being compared to my sister who didn't necessarily have the same teachers as me. Not to say she didn't take hard courses, because she did. She was and still is very smart, but we are two different people and should not have been compared in such a manner. I took five years of Latin. And the teacher I had challenged me everyday. I worked hard and sometimes I just wasn't good enough. He saw enough potential in my class to give us tests that were nearly impossible. I appreciate this now, but at the time I didn't appreciate my GPA not meeting up to my standards. I was screwed over a lot at my high school. It was an excellent school and I appreciate the teachers I had and what I've learned, but the politics in the school overcame the benefits of the students. Even going into my senior year I felt like I had nothing to offer for the future and that my success would be based on pure luck. As much as I loved science, I knew it would amount to nothing. I was very successful in science olympiad (Forensic State Champion twice!!) and still this wasn't enough for people to think I was smart enough. However, after I graduated my teacher gave me a speech. He told me that he was actually proud of me and that he knew I was going to do amazing things. He handed me a playing card that we used in our Latin classes to translate out loud and I knew after 5 years of having him as a teacher, I would be okay.
Recently I have been thinking about transferring schools, because I no longer feel like settling for nothing. I look at that playing card and I know what I am capable of, as silly as it sounds. Sometimes you just have to stop listening to the people around you and take control of your own life. Sometimes it is scary. The future is always scary. Grey's Anatomy said it best "the carousel never stops turning." But I do believe we make our own destinies. Some people are born to greatness and other times we have to find our greatness. I believe that everyone has potential to be successful, it just takes time and effort. For me, I want to work for the CDC and I won't take no for answer to get where I need to be to obtain that goal. If you want to be the president of the United States, you can do that. If you're awful at math and science but want to find the cure for cancer, you do everything in your power to meet that goal. You deserve the best there is. Never settle. Never limit yourself, because the second you start doing that, is the second you will start regretting your past. You will make mistakes, but that will only make you stronger. You will fail many times before you can succeed. You will get there. I will get there. We can all get there together.
Finally, I have learned to never settle for a man. In fact, no girl or woman should EVER settle for a man. You are absolutely beautiful and you should never date a man that makes you feel any different. Through all of my relationships the biggest thing I've learned is that all men are idiots. He could be the most perfect guy ever and he will still do stupid things. That's okay though. That just means when you do something stupid, he can't get angry. My current boyfriend treats me like an absolute princess and I am very grateful for that. However, he still says stuff and does things sometimes and I just think to myself "why would you think that is okay?" For some reason it seems like all men don't know how to speak properly to women. If you find a man who actually has this skill, please let me know. Still my boyfriend thinks I am the most beautiful creature on the planet to which I think "yeah I am. Glad you can see it too." I remember back in high school, I dated a guy who made me feel absolutely terrible. He had the audacity to flirt with other girls and get pictures from them as long as he didn't do anything with them. For some reason he thought this was okay. But no matter how I looked, I was still never good enough. Finally I drew the line. I knew I deserved and could do better. So we broke up and I took a year to just be by myself. I focused on myself and on my grades and didn't worry about the way I looked or how to please people. Through that process, I started to find beauty within myself. I decided that I was done settling for people. I wanted to find someone who thought I was the most beautiful person on the planet and wouldn't treat me like garbage. So, if you're settling for that guy you dated in high school who still acts like he's in high school, you're dating the wrong man. If you find yourself crying over your man multiple times a week, then he probably isn't worth your time. He should treat you like the queen you are and not make you feel like you need to change yourself for him. Never, I repeat NEVER, change yourself for anyone. My boyfriend told me one of the reasons he likes me so much is that I know what I want and I'm unique in the sense that I know who I am and have no intentions of changing for anyone. The fact that this is an uncommon trait among girls concerns me. Now most people do suffer from self-esteem issues and I will always have my insecurities. But I assure you, you're still beautiful and amazing. Don't let a man make you question your self worth. Don't let a man be the reason for your happiness either. Love yourself first. Then you can focus on someone else.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
10 Times the Walking Dead Ruined My Life
The Walking Dead is a show that everyone has heard of and hopefully watched at least once before. It is my favorite show by far. But the show has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have had my ups and downs with it whether it be a character dying or waiting a week or several months to provide some type of comfort over a cliff hanger. So, I've decided to document the top 10 times TWD ruined my life. This post might contain some spoilers so if you plan on watching the show or missed a few episodes, now may be the time to stop reading.
10: Carl having to shoot Lori after Judith's birth.
Lori will forever remain as one of my least favorite characters on The Walking Dead, so to be honest I wasn't devastated to see her go. However, witnessing Carl shoot his own mother is another story. My heart broke for Carl and for Rick. What's worse than finding out your wife died giving birth to your best friend's baby? Pretty much nothing. Her death had a lot of awful consequences including Rick losing his title of leader. Yet her death did cause a lot of good stuff to happen. Carl became a man and Rick isn't afraid of losing anything anymore. Also, we don't have to deal with Lori whining about her personal problems which is a total plus.
9: T-Dawg's Death.
T-Dawg was a very minor character. Yet, he did have a special place in my heart. He sacrificed himself to save Carol and for that I am grateful. After being with us for three seasons he succumbed to the prison's hoard of walkers and lost his life helping out Carol. Thank you, T-Dawg for allowing Carol to still be with us and grow after all this time.
8: Walker Sophia emerging from Hershel's barn.
In season 2, we were all dealing with Sophia's disappearance. Daryl put more effort into finding Sophia, Carol's daughter, than anyone. However, Shane reveals to everyone that the walkers must come out of Hershel's barn and despite Hershel's rules, Shane lets them all loose. After what seems to be the saddest walker death scene ever (watching all of Hershel's friends and relatives dies) Sophie emerges from the barn as a young walker. After a whole season of trying to find Sophia, we realize that her fate has turned for the worst and that she is gone. Something about child walkers really bothers me and for that Sophia's death will always stick with me.
7: "Look at the flowers, Lizzie."
Lizzie's death was something I saw coming the whole episode. What I didn't expect was for Lizzie to go psycho and kill her sister. Again, I hate seeing children succumb to these awful fates, but the show is all about killing off characters in the worst way possible. Carol, the motherly figure of the group, has to shoot Lizzie in a fashion similar to that of Of Mice and Men. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little bit. Lizzie just wanted to help the walkers, but instead she got to join them.
6: Any flashback ever.
The Walking Dead is notorious for showing flashbacks of the character's lives before the outbreak and even flashbacks of people before they died (AKA Shane appearing in the smoke when Rick is having some type of delusional episode). Any flashback of a character is a quick way to ruin me. For example, seeing Abraham's troubled life between him and his family made me develop compassion towards him. I actually feel sorry for Abraham all the time now, and I blame knowing his backstory for that reason. Furthermore, these flashbacks make me become even more attached to the characters because I genuinely feel like I know them. After all, I get the luxury of seeing them at their worst moments. So if one of these characters dies, I feel like I have lost someone I personally know (Thank you TWD for always killing off my favorite characters!).
5: Andrea's death at Woodbury.
Despite popular opinion, Andrea was one of my favorite characters. She made some bad decisions, but falling in love with the Governor might have been the worst. She tried fixing her mistakes, but despite her efforts the Governor ended her life. He tied her up, shot Milton and Milton bit her. The saddest part of it all is that Michonne is the one to kill poor, sick Andrea. My heart broke in a million pieces watching Michonne kill her best friend.
4: Carl shooting Shane.
Kudos to Carl for always shooting Rick's closest friends and family. This seems to be a reoccurring theme for him. Although Shane went a little crazy towards the end of his life, Shane was always one of my favorites. He was a good leader. He may have done some bad things, but if it weren't for him, Carl and Lori probably wouldn't have made it past season one. Even though we all saw it coming, I was devastated when I saw Shane come back to life as a walker. But, I guess he had it coming. Carl saved Rick and that is what truly matters.
3: Hershel's unfortunate encounter with The Governor.
Who didn't love Hershel? He was the sweetest and strongest old man of the apocalypse, I'm sure. Unfortunately his care, compassion, and fairness all led up to his demise. As soon as the Governor had Hershel and Michonne on their knees in front of the prison, I knew something bad was going to happen. A part of me was hoping that someone would come and save the day, but if there is anything I learned in TWD it is that you need to expect the worst. The Governor chopped Hershel's head off and my life ended for about 3 months.
2: Merle's final sacrifice.
Merle might have been one the of the most dynamic characters on the show. He started off as a jerk who ended up working for the Governor only to leave for the benefit of his baby brother, Daryl. Now if you don't like the Dixon brothers then you really need to reevaluate yourself. My twin sister and I always talked about how Daryl and Merle were our favorite characters, which should come at no surprise that one of them ended up dying. Merle develops a plan to destroy Woodbury involving leading a hoard of walkers to Woodbury's walls and killing off the guards. It all works in his favor until the Governor catches on shoots Merle. And as if there wasn't another reason to hate the Governor, here's the catch: he doesn't shoot Merle in the head. So guess who finds Merle as a walker? That's right. Daryl. And guess who has to shoot Merle? Again, Daryl. That whole scene broke my heart. To see Daryl cry, made me want to cry. Nothing is worse than shooting the brother that took you three seasons to find again only to have him change for the better and turn into a walker. We all still miss you, Merle.
1: Glenn's dumpster mishap.
Now, Glenn's death still hasn't been proven, but that doesn't make this whole event any less sad. As a collective group, every TWD fan did like Glenn. I am sure of it. What isn't to like about Glenn? He never did anything bad. He saved people, even the ones who didn't deserve it. Nicholas shot himself and took Glenn down with him and unfortunately we still haven't found out if Glenn is dead or not. In my mind he is alive, but based on previous experiences I foresee death in his future. The saddest part about everything is that my boyfriend and I had a conversation and hour before the episode aired about how Glenn was our favorite character. Also, Maggie has lost literally everyone she ever loved so to have Glenn gone would be a tragedy. Until, I see Glenn alive and Maggie running into his arms, my life will forever be over in the The Walking Dead world.
10: Carl having to shoot Lori after Judith's birth.
Lori will forever remain as one of my least favorite characters on The Walking Dead, so to be honest I wasn't devastated to see her go. However, witnessing Carl shoot his own mother is another story. My heart broke for Carl and for Rick. What's worse than finding out your wife died giving birth to your best friend's baby? Pretty much nothing. Her death had a lot of awful consequences including Rick losing his title of leader. Yet her death did cause a lot of good stuff to happen. Carl became a man and Rick isn't afraid of losing anything anymore. Also, we don't have to deal with Lori whining about her personal problems which is a total plus.
9: T-Dawg's Death.
T-Dawg was a very minor character. Yet, he did have a special place in my heart. He sacrificed himself to save Carol and for that I am grateful. After being with us for three seasons he succumbed to the prison's hoard of walkers and lost his life helping out Carol. Thank you, T-Dawg for allowing Carol to still be with us and grow after all this time.
8: Walker Sophia emerging from Hershel's barn.
In season 2, we were all dealing with Sophia's disappearance. Daryl put more effort into finding Sophia, Carol's daughter, than anyone. However, Shane reveals to everyone that the walkers must come out of Hershel's barn and despite Hershel's rules, Shane lets them all loose. After what seems to be the saddest walker death scene ever (watching all of Hershel's friends and relatives dies) Sophie emerges from the barn as a young walker. After a whole season of trying to find Sophia, we realize that her fate has turned for the worst and that she is gone. Something about child walkers really bothers me and for that Sophia's death will always stick with me.
7: "Look at the flowers, Lizzie."
Lizzie's death was something I saw coming the whole episode. What I didn't expect was for Lizzie to go psycho and kill her sister. Again, I hate seeing children succumb to these awful fates, but the show is all about killing off characters in the worst way possible. Carol, the motherly figure of the group, has to shoot Lizzie in a fashion similar to that of Of Mice and Men. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little bit. Lizzie just wanted to help the walkers, but instead she got to join them.
6: Any flashback ever.
The Walking Dead is notorious for showing flashbacks of the character's lives before the outbreak and even flashbacks of people before they died (AKA Shane appearing in the smoke when Rick is having some type of delusional episode). Any flashback of a character is a quick way to ruin me. For example, seeing Abraham's troubled life between him and his family made me develop compassion towards him. I actually feel sorry for Abraham all the time now, and I blame knowing his backstory for that reason. Furthermore, these flashbacks make me become even more attached to the characters because I genuinely feel like I know them. After all, I get the luxury of seeing them at their worst moments. So if one of these characters dies, I feel like I have lost someone I personally know (Thank you TWD for always killing off my favorite characters!).
5: Andrea's death at Woodbury.
Despite popular opinion, Andrea was one of my favorite characters. She made some bad decisions, but falling in love with the Governor might have been the worst. She tried fixing her mistakes, but despite her efforts the Governor ended her life. He tied her up, shot Milton and Milton bit her. The saddest part of it all is that Michonne is the one to kill poor, sick Andrea. My heart broke in a million pieces watching Michonne kill her best friend.
4: Carl shooting Shane.
Kudos to Carl for always shooting Rick's closest friends and family. This seems to be a reoccurring theme for him. Although Shane went a little crazy towards the end of his life, Shane was always one of my favorites. He was a good leader. He may have done some bad things, but if it weren't for him, Carl and Lori probably wouldn't have made it past season one. Even though we all saw it coming, I was devastated when I saw Shane come back to life as a walker. But, I guess he had it coming. Carl saved Rick and that is what truly matters.
3: Hershel's unfortunate encounter with The Governor.
Who didn't love Hershel? He was the sweetest and strongest old man of the apocalypse, I'm sure. Unfortunately his care, compassion, and fairness all led up to his demise. As soon as the Governor had Hershel and Michonne on their knees in front of the prison, I knew something bad was going to happen. A part of me was hoping that someone would come and save the day, but if there is anything I learned in TWD it is that you need to expect the worst. The Governor chopped Hershel's head off and my life ended for about 3 months.
2: Merle's final sacrifice.
Merle might have been one the of the most dynamic characters on the show. He started off as a jerk who ended up working for the Governor only to leave for the benefit of his baby brother, Daryl. Now if you don't like the Dixon brothers then you really need to reevaluate yourself. My twin sister and I always talked about how Daryl and Merle were our favorite characters, which should come at no surprise that one of them ended up dying. Merle develops a plan to destroy Woodbury involving leading a hoard of walkers to Woodbury's walls and killing off the guards. It all works in his favor until the Governor catches on shoots Merle. And as if there wasn't another reason to hate the Governor, here's the catch: he doesn't shoot Merle in the head. So guess who finds Merle as a walker? That's right. Daryl. And guess who has to shoot Merle? Again, Daryl. That whole scene broke my heart. To see Daryl cry, made me want to cry. Nothing is worse than shooting the brother that took you three seasons to find again only to have him change for the better and turn into a walker. We all still miss you, Merle.
1: Glenn's dumpster mishap.
Now, Glenn's death still hasn't been proven, but that doesn't make this whole event any less sad. As a collective group, every TWD fan did like Glenn. I am sure of it. What isn't to like about Glenn? He never did anything bad. He saved people, even the ones who didn't deserve it. Nicholas shot himself and took Glenn down with him and unfortunately we still haven't found out if Glenn is dead or not. In my mind he is alive, but based on previous experiences I foresee death in his future. The saddest part about everything is that my boyfriend and I had a conversation and hour before the episode aired about how Glenn was our favorite character. Also, Maggie has lost literally everyone she ever loved so to have Glenn gone would be a tragedy. Until, I see Glenn alive and Maggie running into his arms, my life will forever be over in the The Walking Dead world.
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