Since it is Monday, I thought I'd write something to celebrate Motivational Monday to get people through their week. In the past years I have learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of. Through that, I have learned that their are several things you should never settle for: men and your success above most things. How did I do this? How did I overcome having the worst self confidence? I am here to enlighten you on that journey.
Growing up at my high school, I faced a lot of ups and downs. I was a good student, but you would never think of me as that way because there were lots of good students at my school. Instead of being above average, I was just average. I blended in a lot, you might say. Excluding my senior year, I took a lot of hard classes from the hardest teachers. Most of my classes were college level and were very challenging. It was not uncommon for me to receive a B in a challenging course because I was overwhelmed by the large amounts of homework piling up on me all at once. I was so used to this lifestyle of never being complimented and always being compared to my sister who didn't necessarily have the same teachers as me. Not to say she didn't take hard courses, because she did. She was and still is very smart, but we are two different people and should not have been compared in such a manner. I took five years of Latin. And the teacher I had challenged me everyday. I worked hard and sometimes I just wasn't good enough. He saw enough potential in my class to give us tests that were nearly impossible. I appreciate this now, but at the time I didn't appreciate my GPA not meeting up to my standards. I was screwed over a lot at my high school. It was an excellent school and I appreciate the teachers I had and what I've learned, but the politics in the school overcame the benefits of the students. Even going into my senior year I felt like I had nothing to offer for the future and that my success would be based on pure luck. As much as I loved science, I knew it would amount to nothing. I was very successful in science olympiad (Forensic State Champion twice!!) and still this wasn't enough for people to think I was smart enough. However, after I graduated my teacher gave me a speech. He told me that he was actually proud of me and that he knew I was going to do amazing things. He handed me a playing card that we used in our Latin classes to translate out loud and I knew after 5 years of having him as a teacher, I would be okay.
Recently I have been thinking about transferring schools, because I no longer feel like settling for nothing. I look at that playing card and I know what I am capable of, as silly as it sounds. Sometimes you just have to stop listening to the people around you and take control of your own life. Sometimes it is scary. The future is always scary. Grey's Anatomy said it best "the carousel never stops turning." But I do believe we make our own destinies. Some people are born to greatness and other times we have to find our greatness. I believe that everyone has potential to be successful, it just takes time and effort. For me, I want to work for the CDC and I won't take no for answer to get where I need to be to obtain that goal. If you want to be the president of the United States, you can do that. If you're awful at math and science but want to find the cure for cancer, you do everything in your power to meet that goal. You deserve the best there is. Never settle. Never limit yourself, because the second you start doing that, is the second you will start regretting your past. You will make mistakes, but that will only make you stronger. You will fail many times before you can succeed. You will get there. I will get there. We can all get there together.
Finally, I have learned to never settle for a man. In fact, no girl or woman should EVER settle for a man. You are absolutely beautiful and you should never date a man that makes you feel any different. Through all of my relationships the biggest thing I've learned is that all men are idiots. He could be the most perfect guy ever and he will still do stupid things. That's okay though. That just means when you do something stupid, he can't get angry. My current boyfriend treats me like an absolute princess and I am very grateful for that. However, he still says stuff and does things sometimes and I just think to myself "why would you think that is okay?" For some reason it seems like all men don't know how to speak properly to women. If you find a man who actually has this skill, please let me know. Still my boyfriend thinks I am the most beautiful creature on the planet to which I think "yeah I am. Glad you can see it too." I remember back in high school, I dated a guy who made me feel absolutely terrible. He had the audacity to flirt with other girls and get pictures from them as long as he didn't do anything with them. For some reason he thought this was okay. But no matter how I looked, I was still never good enough. Finally I drew the line. I knew I deserved and could do better. So we broke up and I took a year to just be by myself. I focused on myself and on my grades and didn't worry about the way I looked or how to please people. Through that process, I started to find beauty within myself. I decided that I was done settling for people. I wanted to find someone who thought I was the most beautiful person on the planet and wouldn't treat me like garbage. So, if you're settling for that guy you dated in high school who still acts like he's in high school, you're dating the wrong man. If you find yourself crying over your man multiple times a week, then he probably isn't worth your time. He should treat you like the queen you are and not make you feel like you need to change yourself for him. Never, I repeat NEVER, change yourself for anyone. My boyfriend told me one of the reasons he likes me so much is that I know what I want and I'm unique in the sense that I know who I am and have no intentions of changing for anyone. The fact that this is an uncommon trait among girls concerns me. Now most people do suffer from self-esteem issues and I will always have my insecurities. But I assure you, you're still beautiful and amazing. Don't let a man make you question your self worth. Don't let a man be the reason for your happiness either. Love yourself first. Then you can focus on someone else.